Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Spicy Eggplant Stir-fry with Kelp Noodles

I don't have a story about eggplant. Or stir-fry, for that matter. And I don't want to bore you, so I'm just gonna say what's on my semi-delusional, sinus-infected mind. Bare with me.

Ben, from Felicity. 

You know. That extremely underrated show that totally aired from 1998-2002 starring Keri Russell and perhaps the most handsome man ever (sorry Matt Damon) Scott Speedman aka Ben. He'll always be Ben. Not that I have an opinion or anything.

I might have seen The Vow recently and he was totally in it. I was transported back to the college days of watching Felicity dvds nonstop. During The Vow, as I watched Ben get punched in the face by Channing Tatum, I thought, oh Ben. Let me get some ice for your bleeding nose. Let me help you off the floor. Let me take you home or actually, to my apartment. I'll make you some Spicy Eggplant Stir-fry. Because you just got punched in the face by an ex-stripper (rumor has it Channing used to do you think he got those moves?). I'll take care of you. I find you extremely attractive.

Ben has kind eyes.

I seriously contemplated calling this "Scott Speedman Spicy Eggplant Stir-fry." Then, I realized, the NyQuil had kicked in and I should probably just keep this post simple. But let's be honest. I totally wrote this entire post drugged up on NyQuil.

Creepy yet?

This Spicy Eggplant Stir-fry is the perfect weeknight meal, with enough leftover for lunch the next day. The Kelp noodles are completely optional. You can find Kelp noodles at your local health food store; they are essentially tasteless and adapt to the flavor you give them. They're crunchy and add texture to any dish, and I especially like to sub them for rice or rice-noodles because they essentially have no carbs. Can be made gluten-free with Braggs instead of soy sauce. Makes about 3 servings.
Spicy Eggplant Stir-fry (with Kelp Noodles)
1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon olive oil
2 chicken breasts
1 yellow onion
3 big handfuls of spinach
2 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon soy sauce or Braggs Liquid Amino (gluten-free soy sauce)
3 teaspoons sesame oil
1 teaspoon pepper flakes
2 teaspoons garlic powder
pinch of cayenne pepper (optional)
fresh ground pepper
sea salt
1 pack Kelp noodles (optional; can be subbed with rice or rice/wheat noodles)

1) Salt your eggplant: Wash and dry the eggplant. Cut into 1/2 inch thick circles. Place on a paper towel or cutting board. Sprinkle sea salt on top of each eggplant slice, about 1/4 teaspoon per slice. Flip over and sprinkle the salt on the other side. Let the eggplant sit for 20-25 minutes or until the eggplant starts producing sweat...or tears...however you want to view it. This is a key step in this recipe; salting your eggplant will allow for the eggplant to cook down into that melt-in-your mouth texture.

2) Chop your veggies, chicken: Thinly slice the yellow onion. Then, slice the chicken breasts into 1-inch slices. When the eggplant is ready/salted, chop it into 1-inch cubes.

3) Sautee and simmer: Add the 1 tablespoon of olive oil to a wok or frying pan; turn heat to medium and heat the oil for a minute or so. Add in the chopped onion and chicken. After a 5 minutes, add in the eggplant. Add the soy sauce and sesame oil. Stir everything, over medium heat, for 5 more minutes.  Then, place a lid on the pan, reduce heat to medium-low and let simmer for 5 minutes.

4) Measure and add spices, spinach: In a small bowl, measure the pepper flakes, garlic powder, cayenne, and add a few rounds of fresh ground pepper. After the stir-fry has simmered for 5 minutes, add all the spices in, as well as the spinach. Cook until the spinach wilts. Set aside, away from heat.

5) Heat the kelp noodles: In a wok or frying pan, heat the teaspoon of olive oil and add the kelp noodles into the pan, as well as a teaspoon of soy sauce. Cook, on medium-high heat for 5 minutes. This is just to simply heat them up.

6) Serve! Scoop the kelp noodles into a bowl and top with the chicken stir-fry mixture. Chopsticks, optional!


  1. how random! i am currently obsessing over Felicity again + have been ranting and raving about it on my blog! Ben is in The Vow??! man- no I have to go! ps.this looks so yummy! thanks for sharing!!

  2. You are so freaking entertaining.... I love this post. I, too, crush on Ben.