It's freaking hard.
There are days where I feel energized, giddy off of endorphins, and not too stressed. I eat delicious, real food. Maybe some really good chocolate. I put not-so-toxic lotion on my face and love the smell. I feel proud of what I've accomplished and where I am going. I feel lucky to be a member of my small family of strong, independent, and perseverant women. I feel proud of my relationship with my boyfriend, and lovingly supported. And I feel very, very grateful for friends that make me smile and feel silly, but also, protected.
Then there are days like yesterday. I felt constantly distracted, trapped by my own self-pressure, and I just felt down. I was hungry, but nothing sounded good. I was cranky. My life is not hard! I'm just being honest. I questioned myself, constantly, and at times, sent myself into a downward spiral of worrying. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am The Queen of worrying. My Mom still tells me to this day, if I could be a professional worrier, I'd be a billionaire. I'm that good. I'll worry for me, and for you, and your family, too.
Sometimes I think I'm going to start writing about something, and it turns into something else.
Sometimes, there is wine involved.
This is one of those times.
I was going to write a post on learning to say no. Something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Something I am struggling with. I can write that post another time. With another glass of wine.
What I want to really say, I think, is that health is so much more than what we eat and how much we exercise. In school, I am learning a lot about physiology, diseases, nutrition of foods, and different diets. I know this scientific foundation will be very important to me once I begin my career as a Dietitian. However, deep down, I really believe in holistic health, which is something I know can't and won't really be taught at RD school. This is also why I'm so grateful for my education at Bauman College and my...life experience? At least thus far. (I feel weird writing that...#thisisalmostthirty).
But really, you say you want to improve your health. OK. Well, I don't think you can simply look at your diet or exercise routine. 4 spin classes a week and lots of kale is not the solution. You've got to look at the whole picture, all the puzzle pieces. They all work together, though sometimes, you can't really figure out how. Or why. Or maybe you just don't want to know. Maybe you start with diet, and go from there.
Are you eating foods that make you feel good and energized?
If you're eating foods that make you feel bad, why are you eating them?
Are you feeling anxious and stressed? If so, why?
What makes you feel really good?
How are you sleeping?
Do you have supportive, nurturing relationships in your life?
Are you proud of who you are? Do you care?
Do you spread love and positivity? Do you care?
Do you feel better when you exercise?
Do you remind yourself about what you are grateful for?
Approaching health holistically is not easy. Rather, for me at least, it's a seemingly life-long sort of challenge. I mean lets get real, I am choosing to make a career out of it. I am constantly reminded that not everything will be in place all at once. There may never be a time where everything is perfect in your life. Or you are perfectly satisfied. Or you feel perfectly aligned.
But being able to adapt to change, express emotion, show compassion, make conscious choices to nourish your body, mind, and your soul, and love others - if that doesn't make you 'healthy,' well then. I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree.
It's about so much more than food.